Popitolib-tolibon

I finally figured out that popitolib-tolibon is the Dusuns' effective way of dealing with stress. It basically means "let go and let go". I hear family members saying it all the time, and doing it I supposed. It's like when you are upset by someone's action or remark, you have to act like it has never happened. It might seem to be a form of denial, but the person who has that attitude is normally stress-free.


I decided to try adopting that attitude one morning when stress was mounting. As usual the kids were bickering before leaving for school, the road was all muddy because of the rainy season, and the second daughter, being ever so ladylike, took so long to jump over the little puddle just a step away from where I parked. A neighbour, annoyed that I had to park on the road and blocked his way honked furiously at me. It was only a little incident, and I reasoned that he had the right to be furious because I must have blocked his way for a minute or so when he was rushing out to work, but it still bothered me a little. So popitolib-tolibon came to mind and I focused on forgetting the moments of angry honking and guilty feeling. It worked, didn't it? Well, have to say that actually it is all psychological. Maybe I have to now redefine it as "the power of positive thinking".

Getting to know Bongkoron :-)

In Dusun folklore, there is one character that is always portrayed as the 'baddy'- Bongkoron. He is the exact opposite of Anak-anak, the hero who is always hardworking, obedient, honest, focussed, successful, and the list of positive qualities goes on. Bongkoron, on the other hand, is the lazy one, the one who lies to his parents and friends, and opts for the easy way out, because he is too lazy to do tasks given to him, the one who's always unsuccessful...and needless to say, the one who is rejected in the community.

A friend in FB once wrote on their status, something to this effect= "poor Bongkoron had attention deficit disorder (ADD)". That got me thinking. Maybe that is actually true. ADD, the modern day term for distracted persons, seems to be applicable to Bongkoron. Because he was so distracted, he didn't get to fulfill his potentials in his life. It is just unfortunate that poor Bongkoron lived in a time (hypothetically) when differences in personality and learning styles were not known yet. Or Bongkoron could have been that way because of lack of discipline and will, who knows. Poor, misunderstood Bongkoron...

Come to think of it, many of us are actually Bongkorons in one way or the other. For one thing, too much entertainment can make us Bongkoron. I know for sure that addiction to the internet is one of the factors contributing to 'Bongkoronness'. But having said this, maybe Bongkoron could have changed if only somebody told him to use his time well, to set a particular time to do his chores, to choose a place where he could have avoided distractions in order to achieve a goal, while at the same time satisfy his need for entertainment and relaxation after doing everything he needs to do for his living...(Maybe by empathizing with Bongkoron I am actually trying to defend my own addiction to the internet?).

Egalitarian Society?

Seems like it. (Except for certain areas of life like marriage. Women don't go pursue men. Although I see nothing wrong with that actually!)



Men and women cultivate their farms side by side. That's the most telling sign of Dusun being an egalitarian society, I supposed. This entails doing the same amount of work, carrying the same kind of burden- for instance if a man carries a 50kg sack of rice on his back, the woman does the same too. (They really do have a strong back!- not me though. In the olden days I would have been considered one of the weakest ones, for I could never ever carry a 50kg sack of rice on my back.)

But men are left to do 'heavy' stuffs like build a house, while most often women are the ones doing the houseworks and looking after the kids. Cooking might be a shared task but cleaning up and laundry are normally left to the women. Some men like my father are really good with children and they don't mind the task of looking after their kids. Though I know of some who would never touch their babies because of this preconceived ideas that little ones are the women's domain. And waking up at night to feed and change the babies is again considered as the woman's domain. (Come to think of it, this really should change in this modern time, especially when the woman is also working. It seems unfair to let only the mother endure the hardship day and night! After all both parents are the breadwinners eh?)

So what's my point again? Oh, Dusun seems to be an egalitarian society. But in reality the women do so much more than the men. I wonder if this would be changing soon...