03 August 2009

Mourning ritual


The last traditional Dusun funeral I went to was in the 80s. It was my granduncle's, a person who had never converted to any religion to the day he died. I was quite young then, and only went because of grandmother's command. Nothing much registered in my mind about the atmosphere. But I really was upset with the mourning ritual.

Well, it was supposed to be a sad occasion, I thought. The coffin was put in the middle of the living room for people to see, and those who wanted to pay their last respect could do so in turn. It was jealously guarded. Animals, especially cats were not allowed near it at all. I am not sure how far true this is but a friend of mine told me later that it was believed that if a cat jumped over a coffin, the corpse would become a bad spirit. Hmm...everyone that I asked about it later dismissed the question to be irrelevant. After all, everybody has a religion now, they are not supposed to believe in such nonsense, do they?

Anyway, a group of elderly mourners took turn to weep aloud near the coffin. While other family members genuinely cried (from sadness), I seriously doubt that the mourners did. I paid close attention to grandmother, being one of the mourners. It was the first time I saw her 'cry'. (I remember feeling really 'weird' about it. Grandmother didn't cry...the only emotion she had was anger!) One moment she would weep bitterly near the coffin, wailing out loud of the unfairness of it all. That he, her younger brother had to die earlier when she should have...why? why? etc. The next moment, she was out with the other mourners outside, drinking rice-wine over a fire (no doubt to warm up because it was quite cold in that place). And worst, they were all laughing and joking! I was really upset then, feeling that the whole mourning thing was just a facade.

I carried it with me for a long time, until I finally grew up and understood a little bit about societies, and finally realized that it was actually not an act, but a real cultural practice. That was how it was supposed to be. That was what they were taught, and practiced.

My grandmother's generation is almost all gone now. There won't be any irritating mourning rituals left in the near future. The younger generations prefer religion- based funerals or rather are taught to conduct funerals according to their religions. Some aspects of the traditional funerals continue on though. People mourn for 7 days, during which they are not allowed to have any music. In some villages, they don't even eat green vegies because green signifies life and the living. Throughout the 7-day period, it is preferable that a few people keep vigil the whole night long. The 7th day is the conclusion. A prayer is conducted and lights will be put out (called 'momisok' = "putting out lights"). If the religion of the deceased and his family allows for inculturation, the spirit of the deceased is called up to give some kind of signs that he/she is well on the other side. The sign is normally in the form of some scratches on a plate of ash prepared for that purpose. Or it could simply be a 'presence', felt by some 'sensitive' (in clairvoyant sense) members of the community.

After that, having received their proper farewell, the deceased is well on their way, in their journey to the next life...

3 comments:

Rem said...

Very interesting articles you have in this blog. I can totally relate to this event. We (the entire family) converted to Islam in the early 80s. But when I was little kid -- I used to attend funerals from my non-Muslim relatives. And yes, I did have one of those experiences! Yang ada menangis berteriak-teriak. Ada juga yang mogondi!

If fact, some of my (non-muslim) aunties, uncles and cousins still did "that" when my mother passed away. And the GREAT THING about Dusun people -- we are very tolerant. We always try to accommodate each others -- regardless of the differences in religion.

Verone said...

Exactly! Menangis teriak2 :-) Sia x sempat tingu yg ada mogondi. But yeah, that's the difference between a multi-religious community with mono-religious society I supposed. We tend to be more tolerant because we have the advantage of living with each others' differences. I like that.

Nell Tiam said...

Love all of your entries, Veron.

The ash-scratching, cold-felt touch on those sensitive bodies are during the Dusun's 'mogoit-goit' or 'mogowit-gowit' ceremony on the night of the 'kinopomalabangan'. I think it used to be the night of the 7th day, but I don’t think today’s generation can wait that long anymore.

A tray of fine ashes and a pencil were the 2 things used for 'mogoit-goit'. The livings' so-called method to be in touch with the departed for the last one time, as a sign of letting go and hope that the departed is well on their next journey.

My last was in 2007, when my late dad passed away. On the night of the 'mogoit-goit', my mum gathered a few of my dad's personal belongings and placed them next the 'kaban' where the ash tray was laid. My mum said, these are for him to 'take' hence the word 'mogoit or mangan igitai'. Lights put off, and the ceremony ended in less than 10 minutes. I saw the scratch on the ashes tray and my eldest sist had had her cheek cold-touched. Personally, I only take it as my late dad is well and off to the next life, nothing more.