of thank you and gratitude

A very good friend of mine, an Iban from a neighbouring state once mentioned to me that her people don't say thank you. They just don't have the word for it. Instead, they express gratitude in multiple ways like gifting the ones to whom they are thankful. I thought they were very different from us Dusuns because of course we have 'pounsikou' or 'kotoluadan'/('kotohuadan' in some Kadazandusun dialects), meaning 'thank you'.

But I think I might have been wrong! Maybe the Dusuns learnt their 'thank yous' from other cultures. Maybe like the Ibans, we prefer to show gratitude in other ways rather than through words. For one thing, 'thank you' wasn't something said naturally at home among older family members when I was growing up. We children were asked to say thank you, especially to people who were non-family. But come to think of it, there was no hard and fast rule that you should say 'thank you' at home...

However expressions of gratitude are natural. If your neighbour gives you a basket of fruits, you give them something else in return the next day, or a few days later. If somebody helps fix your plumbing system, you invite them for lunch or dinner. The least you could do is invite the person you are thankful to for a drink. Of course you don't say 'let me invite you for a drink because I'm thankful to you...'. You don't have to. The person is expected to understand, because they will do the same thing in your shoes.

It doesn't matter how you express it, gratitude is a must. Corrupt modern day people like me simply say thank you because that's the easiest way to show one's gratitude...